I’m currently immune compromised and with COVID lurking in the background… Words cannot even begin to express the amount of anxiety that I’m having. I’m worried about my health, the health of my baby, my kids. It’s a never-ending nightmare.
I had COVID this year January. I had no physical symptoms at all, I got tested because my kids were sick and had the flu and I needed a COVID test to go back to work. To say I was scared will be an understatement. I was beyond terrified. I feared to infect my kids and they die, I feared dying because of the clots and I couldn’t take anti-clotting meds. I lost friends and family in those 10 days of COVID, people who had no symptoms. I never knew if I would wake up
So, I stopped sleeping during the night and only slept during the day when people were up. I still never recovered; I had a threatened miscarriage as a result of my anxiety. I had to go for therapy and still am because of COVID.
It’s not easy to know who got it because people are so secretive, even friends are. Even when they test positive, they still interact with people and don’t disclose. The only friends I know are the ones who passed away and those who told me after they had recovered because they knew based on my personality that I’m not coping. Ever since COVID arrived in the country, I’ve been so angry, because people are not taking it seriously. It’s business as usual. They hide and infect others. I was infected by my brother-in-law who had symptoms but never went to check and once he did check he still didn’t stop interacting with others. Many do this. The innocent suffer.
I have not cared for anyone with COVID and I hope I won’t have to, But I have lost friends and family during COVID. I’m not going to mention who they were because even alive they never wanted people to know they had covid it not my place to speak about it now. I’m a pessimist and always paranoid by nature. Their dead changed something in me. I can’t explain it, but it made me not to want people around me. I don’t trust anyone who comes near me. I live in constant fear about my mom with 1 lung, my family mother with COPD. I’m worried about my unborn baby. It’s a lot.
Besides the stigma, which I really don’t care about, there is no comparison. HIV and TB are both conditions that have extensive research and treatment. COVID does not. No matter what you do, you cannot treat it. There is no time frame, you die anytime without warning. You die alone. I’m honestly not even angry at the government for anything at this point, it won’t change the fact that we have a disease that is killing millions of people and we don’t have proven solutions. We have more questions than answers. It does not help that it keeps mutating.