Spiderman

Malawi

My name is Spiderman. I was born on the 30th January 1958, in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe (then Southern Rhodesia). I was the 6th born in a family of 12 children. Both my mom and dad were Malawians. I completed my primary education from 1965 to 1971 in Bulawayo. In 1973, I came to Malawi and started school in 1975 from Standard 7. In 1980-82, I did my forms 1 and 2 at Gowa, but did not sit for Junior Certificate Exams. Fast-forward, in 1984 I started working at a Chinese Restaurant and later with the Surveys Department. My life experience in those years, was not horizontal. I encountered a lot of detours and diversions. I got hooked up with my late live-in partner, Mercy in 1989 until she passed away in 1995.

My wife and I when we stayed together, we never got tested for HIV. I am not trying to be elusive but being mindful of “blame shifting” as the Biblical Scenario of Adam and Eve. In the years 1993-1995, my wife’s health was on and off. We went to different hospitals, but we could not find lasting treatment. Finally, we went to Malamulo Hospital in Makwasa, Thyolo around February 1995. The truth came out when the Doctor called me and shared the sad news: My wife was HIV positive and her heart was enlarged beyond medical redemption. I did not act on the revelation of the Doctors about Mercy’s condition, nor did I engage her about what the Doctor said. She passed away in April 1995.

In July 1996 I had an acute Malaria attack and went to the Hospital, got tested and was told that I was HIV positive. The world around me shattered. So, both my late wife Mercy and I may have contracted HIV not because we had “unprotected sex” but because of what we did not do – knowing each other’s status or getting tested before we moved in together. The information gap and awareness were not as robust as it is now.